A couple of weeks back, one of my favorite healers posted a video on Instagram called “BIG PUSSY.” After watching her video, I didn’t know if I should cry, thank God, go have a glass of wine … or all three! LOL!
The video spoke about something that I’ve unfortunately done in the past, which is starting a relationship from a place that lacks integrity and self-worth. Often, we are scared to speak up and say what we want and how we want to be treated at the very beginning of a relationship. Instead, we just hope that things will get better, which really makes no sense.
Her video also pointed out that often we are left hardened and bitter at the end of a relationship situation because we thought things would work out and they didn’t. One of the things that really spoke to me was what she said about not speaking up soon enough. Generally, we wait until we’re angry and frustrated and explosive instead of speaking up at the very beginning.
Another thing I’m finding is too many of my women friends get sucked into the expectation of sex from men they date. Some of them have told me that men expect them to “put out” after three dates. That’s ridiculous! Most of my friends are males, so I asked a few of them if they would wait for more than three dates for sex? They all said yes! if they really like her, then sex is just the icing on the cake.
Rules for using your Big Pussy Voice:
1. Write down the things you want in a man, how you expect to be treated and stand firmly on that … especially in the beginning.
2. There’s no need to wear lingerie and drink pineapple juice for a man who doesn’t think enough of you to take you out to dinner, sis. Trust me, a coffee date means an interview or meeting but a dinner date means romantic interest.
3. It’s 100% okay to have high standards as long as you’re willing to give the same level of treatment in return.
True testimony! Back in May, after my divorce was final I took a hot bath, lit my bedroom with candles and wrote a list of all the things I would like in a man. Meanwhile, there was a guy who had been consistently trying to pursue me and I ended up flat out telling him the reasons I would never go out with him. He just smiled and said, “Ok, now I know you’re going to be my wife.” Long story short, now we’re dating! I was totally looking past him, so remember ladies, keep your eyes wide open you never know!