Leave it to me to end up at a family-friendly New Year’s Eve party. Yes, I was the only woman wearing red pumps and showing cleavage while kids ran back and forth, playing. Don’t judge me– I didn’t know it was a family party! I was dressed to catch the attention of the next Mr. Right, or at least a sister-friend who could introduce me to her brother who happens to be the man of my dreams. Who knows, right?!
Anyway, after I got over my embarrassment, I started chatting with the mothers and since I’m now a doula, I was very interested in hearing their stories about giving birth and motherhood and, let me tell you, I learned a lot!
I met a mom who reminded me of one of my doula clients. After her baby, her body snapped right back into shape but soon after that, she gained, like 40 or 50 pounds, because she was depressed and overwhelmed with the pressures of dealing with a new baby. That’s not even the worst part! While she was out on maternity leave, an assistant had actively pursued the new monther’s job. So when mom came back to work, her old assistant was sitting in her chair. That’s tough. Basically, her employers felt like once she had a baby she wouldn’t be able to focus on work. And she was a Vice President!
Tips for working women who are pregnant:
- Ask around. Talk to the other mothers at your job to find out how the company treated them when they were on maternity leave and especially when they came back to work after having a baby.
- Talk to bae. Listen, if your love relationship is just ok, a baby will definitely break it– even if you’re married. My hairdresser told me, “babies break a weak marriage and stretch a strong marriage.” True story.
- Plan ahead. You and your relationship partner need to talk about expectations. Yes, things are going to change dramatically once the baby comes! There will be more stress and less sex which will be hard for both of you. Know what you’re getting into.