Surviving Abuse And R. Kelly

I refuse to watch the R. Kelly docu-series on Lifetime. Nah, I’m good on that. I know it’s gonna have me all up in my feelings. Plus, I’m a survivor of abuse and because of that, my perspective is a little different. To me, it’s not all about the abuser. I don’t even think about the man who abused me. I do, however, think about how my family could allow that to happen to me. I’m not gonna lie, it took me a lot of prayer and meditation to forgive everyone involved. In the end, it’s the parents and family who are responsible for making sure that nothing happens to their children. I saw some snippets of “Surviving R. Kelly” online and it seemed to me that the parents were willing to pawn their children off on R. Kelly, a known child molester, for the chance to get rich– that’s horrible.

It surprised me but I’ve also seen a lot of women commenting on social media about the series, saying that we should not tear down this black man and suggesting that the young women R. Kelly took advantage of were ready and willing. That’s crazy! Even if those girls were dressed sexy, they are still girls and he’s a grown man. He’s the one who should have behaved himself.

I mean, how many times have you heard your family (or a family you know) say something about avoiding a bad uncle? Things like, “don’t get too close to Uncle Larry,” or “don’t sit on his lap at the BBQ”– this is part of the problem. We shouldn’t be telling our little girls to stay away from Uncle Larry, we should be telling Uncle Larry to stay away from the BBQ. We have to better as a people to help stop predators– even if they are in our family.

Tips To Grow:

1. Don’t leave your kids with everybody. Be very careful who you leave your kids with. Even if they aren’t abused they could pick up on the negative energy of whoever you decide to leave them with. Be selective.
2. Communicate with your kids about physical boundaries. No, they actually don’t need to be taught to hug everyone in the community. And talk to them about what is appropriate touching by an adult and what isn’t.
3. Seek help and healing when needed. Therapy can help. Supposedly R. Kelly was molested as a child and perhaps if he’d gotten some help, things would have turned out differently.